Growing pains?

I haven't talked about school so much. That doesn't mean nothing happened. It's the opposite, lots of things have happened, good and bad. One thing I'm pretty sure is that I don't regret taking this program. I've learned so many useful knowledge and skills, and thanks to those exams and cases, they really stayed in my mind. The fun part is some of them can be reflected in my head when I see real life problems. It's happening almost everyday in many aspects from issues with family and friends to an organization, to a country, or even the global economic environment.

The most frustrating part at school is human relationship. It's so complicated! I just realized that I had been lucky with people up to the point I started in a business school. Most of my time before business school, I either was surrounded by simple kind people, or didn't get involved to the situation where things can get complicated. Relationship is complicated, no matter what kind. So I was thinking maybe the point of going to business school isn't about learning financial statements, marketing strategies, organizational theories etc., the real point is to experience and figure out how to deal with, work with, and even manipulate various types of people. Because the final goal is to get your idea crossed. There are many techniques required in communicating to different people. Speaking of the truth or a good idea is simply not enough. Being a nice guy or doing the right thing isn't gonna earn you any credibility. It's all about how you say it, and when you say it. (I will develop more on that when I have time. Right now I need to prepare for bed.)

Exam week

Right now, I'm supposed to study for the big exams next week, but instead I'm writing this post while listening to Cheer Chen. Her voice is transparent and her music is refreshing. Cheer is the favorite of most Chinese dilettantes (Wen Yi Qing Nian in Chinese). The direct translation of Wen Yi Qing Nian is arty youth. It is a modern word used to describe young people who enjoy fine art. Normally they are sensitive, narcissistic. Certainly they are well-educated and thus like to pursue improvement in their inner world. But sometimes their affectations can be really annoying. Someone even call them pretentious bastards. Anyway I think they are cute most of the time but I don't think I am one of them. I find Cheer's music is good to listen to when I want to be sentimental. Being sentimental can help me think and write about my feelings. In this sense, I should be more sentimental in order to update my blog more frequently. Hahaha...

School is busy as hell. Most of the time, my head and body are occupied by the endless projects, assignments, and exams. Sometimes, I am quite surprised how fast I can force myself to learn; and sometimes, I can be really sick of study. Maybe these days, I am like that. Before I complain about the exam week, I should explain the way how the school exam us. Our examination for all discipline subjects consist of three parts. The first part is the normal exam after finishing each subject. The second part is integration of different subjects at the end of each period (two subjects at a time). The third part is this exam week after 1.5 semesters. We need to answer an essay question of each subject we have learned for the past 1.5 semesters. The idea of exam week is good. The intention of it is to "learn for the program and for life" rather than "learn for the exam and then forget about the subject". But I kinda lost all my motivation at the moment. I don't want to go through all the literature or slides again. Besides, I don't know how much you can prepare for an essay question. I will see how much I can bullshit during the exam.

Foundation

One and half week of hectic foundation period has officially ended three o'clock this afternoon. The actual course hasn't started yet. We already got so many things to do. The Student Association at the Stockholm School of Economics (SASSE) is obviously doing a great job of keeping us busy. We were warmly welcomed on the registration day. The entire board of the SASSE was standing outside the main entrance of the school and shaking hands with each of every new student. As you can see on the picture, even red carpet was prepared. After we entered the main entrance, there was a corridor leading us to the auditorium, and all the members of the SASSE were standing along the corridor and cheering for the new students when we passed along. I've studied for 18 years in total so far, but I've never been welcomed like this before. Of course the welcoming was just a start, from that moment on, we were well taken care of by the SASSE. They first divided us into groups, and "parents" were assigned to each group. Then, walkabout school tour, games, dinners, weekend trip, and many other activities, plus the activities we had within each specialization program, I felt as if I knew those fellow students for years. Everyone is friendly, active, and open, from students to professors. It felt like I was in another country. This is definitely not the Sweden I used to know, not the school I used to go, and not the classmates I used to have. I feel that I am changing inside just by being around this active and positive vibe. My confidence started coming back. Right now, I'm very happy and grateful to be one of SSE's students. Although I am one of the oldest students in our class, I believe better late than never. My journey at SSE has already started. I promised myself to cherish this second chance and make the most out of it.

Admitted

Finally, a piece of good news - I'm in! I got accepted by Stockholm School of Economics, one of the leading business school in Europe. Although my GMAT score wasn't impressive, they accepted me. It was a big suprise. It's still felt like dreaming. Maybe they were touched by my sincere personal statement, or I'm just lucky this time. But anyway, I'm so happy that I got accepted. I can't say it's gonna be life-changing, but it's certainly a turning point. The one that I need desperately at this moment! So back to school, not a bad thing. Cheers! A lot to do in the next two years. Hope I can still manage. Go Lily, go! I can do it!

Quick update

Not so much happened. I'm still at home without job. After a while, I'm just tired of looking. Even the idea of searching jobs makes me a bit nauseous. I also get used to the life without job. It kinda feels good. Let it be. I don't wanna worry anymore. Just wait and see where life will take me.

Yeah, half a year has gone. A lot has happened. I was in China for a month somewhere from February to March. It was an unexpected visit home. My mom had an acute glaucoma. She almost lost her eyesight. Fortunately she got the laser operation just in time. Now everything is fine now. She just needs to do regular eye examination. Because people say once you got glaucoma, it will happen again.

After I came back from China, I continue my Swedish class, and did a national exam. But after the exam day, I never went to the school again. I spent another month preparing the damn GMAT. The result didn't meet my expectation. But what's done is done. I sent the school application just one day before we went on vacation. Not matter what the result is, I have tried.

From 12th June to 14 July, we were mostly in Jakarta, and five days in Singapore. I love Singapore. It's a tidy, beautiful, and convenient country. Not so much for sightseeing though, eating and shopping are our main activities there. About Jakarta, I can only say it's the most bizarre, chaotic, and boring city I've ever been. If not for Darwis, I would never want to land myself in that city again. But it was an experience. At least I know that part of the world now and where Darwis grew up. I think I'd better open a new post for talking about Jakarta.

all about food

Around new year, no matter in the Gregorian calendar or in the lunar calendar, it's all about eating every year this time. Normally it starts from one week before Christmas, and lasts to the Chinese lantern's day, which is somewhere in January or February. It's such a wonderful and awful period. Almost every week, big food storms strike you at least once, sometimes, it's everyday non-stop. As your belly grows, you always try to tell yourself to eat less, but you just can't refuse the bright color, the tempting smell, and the rich flavor. Yes, everything else is not so important during this period. I'm so happy that I can eat with relish and appreciate the joy foods bring us.

so...

got an email from an ex-colleague asking how i'm doing. Here is how I replied:

Which version do you wanna hear, optimistic one or pessimistic one?

The optimistic version goes like this:
I enjoy my holiday very much. Now I have time to do whatever I want. I don't have to get up early in the morning for work, and deal with the stupid TW tasks from PF. Finally I have time to do some knitting, help my family and take care of my own health, go for a walk along the beautiful lake every afternoon and eat less junk food so that my body can stay in
good shape and nice posture.

The pessimistic version goes like this:
Everything seems dead. The Swedish school is closed until tomorrow for the winter holiday. Most of my Chinese friends have gone back to China for the Spring Festival. Darwis is always busy at work. I am alone at home everyday trying to find a job, but hardly found any suitable one. Except the resultless job searching, I am also being exploited by my own Dad to translate a dam useless book just for him to show how good his English is in front of his boss and colleagues. Every afternoon when I go out for a walk, I find myself surrounded by old people and Mammas. What a strange feeling!